Someone’s In The Kitchen With Donald

January 05, 2009 at 11:17am by Scott   •  No Comments »

The incident where Anthony Davis and Michael Bennett were being accused of assaulting a man at an IHOP in Tampa last October has taken a weird turn. A couple other Buccaneers have also been named as being involved in the incident.

The incident purportedly started after Gordon requested linebacker Quincy Black and friends to move to another part of the restaurant because Davis was loud and vulgar.

This is the first time I’ve heard Black’s name mentioned. The story only has him as being a member of Davis’s party and not starting any trouble.

Black blew Gordon off and things got hot from there with Davis kicking a chair into Gordon’s chest.

I’m not sure how a chair gets kicked into a chest. If Gordon is seated, how does a kicked chair get to his chest? And if he’s standing, how short is Gordon, anyway? Does Davis kick it soccer ball-style? Because if so, that’s damn impressive.

Tackle Donald Penn was also at the IHOP but claimed he was in the kitchen and was not involved.

Donald Penn was in the kitchen? Making pancakes? I realize Penn went undrafted and isn’t making as much as some of the other players on the team, but to think that he has to work the graveyard shift as a short-order cook at an IHOP to make ends meet is really sad. And by “sad”, I mean hilarious. The best part would be to hear Penn shouting out diner lingo as he prepares breakfast food at 3:00AM for his teammates with the munchies. “A stack of Vermont blowout patches and fry two, let the sun shine — ORDER UP!”

Wow, This Broad Really Wants Morris In Denver

January 05, 2009 at 10:55am by Scott   •  No Comments »

Josina Anderson, doing an opinion piece for MyFox Colorado, wrote what must be the world’s longest fan letter endorsement for a head coach in support of Raheem Morris. She has quotes from former Buccaneers and Broncos all throwing their support behind Morris being the new head coach in Denver and all kinds of great arguments about why he’s the right choice. So why does race even need to be part of the discussion?

I’m not sure which of these facts speaks more about the opportunities African Americans can have in society now to ascend to the apex of their professions: Barack Obama winning the Presidential election, or the surprised reaction to Tampa Bay defensive coordinator Raheem Morris receiving an interview to be head coach of the Denver Broncos?

Despite the capability of both men, the criticism of inexperience was and is raised in both cases. One weathered the storm; the other still awaits “judgment.”

I guess I’m missing some perspective by not being from Colorado. And by, you know, not being black. Maybe Colorado’s proximity to Idaho has made it exceptionally difficult to make progress in the area of black advancement. But she just goes on and on about how Morris should be more than just a Rooney Rule interview and how his age and experience shouldn’t matter, either, and how Pat Bowlen should just fucking hire him NOW NOW NOW!

Now, six years later, despite Bowlen’s original seat on the diversity committee and despite the era of an invigorated sense of racial progress, questions surface about whether the Broncos’ owner is bringing Morris to Dove Valley Wednesday to satisfy this rule in letter or in love.

This is just annoying. With the rule in place, it’s impossible to bring a minority candidate in for an interview without being accused of just doing it to satisfy the rule that was enacted specifically for this reason. Owners can’t win because if they don’t hire the minority candidate, there’s a residual stigma of racism that lingers because the impression is that they just brought the black guy in because they were forced to. It’s a good rule because it gets minority coaches exposure that they may not have otherwise gotten, but it does create its own kind of racial tension. And Anderson seems to be using that tension to make her point.

And then she goes nuts by saying that experience shouldn’t matter, either.

Not just because Morris is black, but because Morris is both black and-as critics say-was only named defensive coordinator this past Christmas. Some of my white colleagues in the business whose opinion I respect point to his resume (listed below) as evidence that Morris’ job titles and experience show that he is not yet ready to be head coach.

My answer: There are plenty of employees of all colors and creeds in this country whose talent supercedes their titles.

And then all the quotes start about how energetic and smart Morris is and how he’ll make a great head coach. And I think they’re right. Morris will make a great head coach. One day. But to say that some people just have some inherent knack for being an NFL head coach and they don’t need any kind of experience to do the job is just silly and shows a lack of understanding of the game.

Yes, young players identify with him. Yes, he speaks their language and knows how to get through to them. But a head coach has to be able to do more than that. He’s responsible for everything that happens on the field. The highest level that Morris has ever achieved in football is one season as defensive coordinator of Kansas State. Otherwise he’s been a position coach or a generic “defensive assistant”. He hasn’t had to worry about pulling an entire game plan together at the NFL level. The number of players he’s had to force to work together and, you know, “coordinate” has been relatively small. he has faced very little media scrutiny because he’s not the face of a franchise or even of a defense. I’m not saying he can’t do it — I think he can. But you set the guy up for failure if you advance him too quickly.

Look at Rod Marinelli. He went right from position coach to head coach of the Lions and just recently received the title of Head Coach of the Worst Team in NFL History. Herm Edwards had a little better luck when he went right from secondary coach to head coach of the Jets in 2001. He went to the playoffs in his first year, but got fired a few years later after compiling a 39-41 record. Then he went to the Chiefs, took them to the playoffs in the first year and has steadily gotten worse, ending 2008 at 2-14. Edwards seems to take good teams and fuck them up. I don’t know that you can attribute that to never having been a coordinator, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t help. Jim Zorn might be on his way to doing the same. After starting out 4-1 this season, he ended up 8-8 and lost 4 of his last 5, including a fun one at Cincinnati.

I don’t know how you can argue that experience doesn’t matter. In fact, now that I think about it, I can’t think of any head coach that has had serious success that was never a coordinator. Any readers who want to help me out on that one, leave an example in the comments. I think Anderson just likes the idea of having a black head coach in Denver, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I really believe she does Morris a disservice by touting him so heavily without the experience to back up his energy.

Golf Classic Cancelled, Poster To Blame?

January 03, 2009 at 01:28am by Scott   •  No Comments »

Derrick Brooks and Warrick Dunn have cancelled their Brooks & Dunn Inaugural Golf Classic that was to take place during the Super Bowl week. Natalie Boe, executive director for the Warrick Dunn Foundation, is blaming the poor economy.

“We had been fortunate in securing just over $100,000 in sponsorships; however, we were still short of our goal of $200,000,” Boe said. “Their concern was that with only six weeks to go before the event — and two of those weeks being holiday weeks, with a lot of people not having their budgets reevaluated for January — we were afraid we wouldn’t get that commitment for the event.”

Yeah, you can’t tell me that people saw the promotion poster and didn’t have second thoughts. Warrick Dunn in a sleeveless button-down shirt and a cowboy hat? Sponsors got scared that they were going to be forced to line dance.

It’s too bad this didn’t work out, though, because the Super Bowl week is an excellent opportunity to get people with too much money to give some of it to charity. But both guys will be involved in other activities during the week; Dunn will be working with Habitat For Humanity and Brooks will be part of the 2009 Super Bowl Breakfast. At the Habitat event, you can win tickets to the Super Bowl– the more you build, the better your chances. And at the Breakfast, for $20 you can meet Brooks, Tony Dungy, Lee Roy Selmon, Bart Starr, Anthony Munoz, Brett Jones, and other NFL legends. These are both things you can easily be involved in if you live in the Bay area. Bucs fans should seriously consider signing up to one or both of these events. Bonus points if you show up in a sleeveless button-down shirt and get your picture taken with one of the guys.

REAR ENTRIES: Happy New Rear

January 02, 2009 at 01:39am by Scott   •  No Comments »

MORRIS TO INTERVIEW WITH DENVER: The Broncos have asked for permission from the Buccaneers to interview Raheem Morris for their head coaching position, even though they didn’t need to. And the Buccaneers granted it even though there’s nothing they could have done to prevent it anyway.

Morris will interview with Broncos owner Pat Bowlen on Monday in Denver. The Broncos reportedly will have an informal interview with Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo Saturday in New York.

It would be hard to imagine Bowlen offering Morris the job simply because he doesn’t have any head coaching or coordinating experience. It’s most likely that this is a mutual favor for them. Bowlen gets to fulfill the Rooney Rule and Morris gets his name out as a legitimate head coaching candidate. Morris’s new coordinator contract is for two years, and after that time he’ll probably land a head coaching job. And if Jon Gruden hasn’t made major improvements in the team by that time, that job could very well be for the Buccaneers.

MAYO GETS DEFENSIVE ROY: This only really matters if you’re a Vols fan, but Jerod Mayo, the former Tennessee superstar linebacker, was named the Defensive Rookie of the Year. Bill Belichick had some nice things to say about him.

“He’s smart, makes a lot of defensive adjustments and calls for us there. He runs well. He’s tough. He’s a good all-around football player, very mature, very professional. For a rookie, he’s probably as professional as anybody I’ve coached.”

Mayo received 49 out of 50 votes. The 50th? Keith Rivers, a linebacker who only played half the season. Some people shouldn’t get votes.

JAY GRUDEN TO COACH TIGHT ENDS?: The Times is claiming, though they don’t cite a source, that Jay Gruden is up for consideration as the tight ends coach, pending the expiration of Bob Casullo’s contract.

If this move is consummated, it would be another sign that Jon Gruden isn’t going anywhere.

Dammit, haven’t we already discussed this? Jon Gruden is safe this year. And I don’t know about hiring Jay Gruden as the tight ends coach. How is he qualified? He was a star Arena League quarterback and was also the head coach of the Orlando Predators. But, see, here’s the thing… there are no tight ends in arena football. And the last time he was in big boy football was when he was at Louisville. As a quarterback. I realize he’s been an offensive assistant for the Bucs over these last few years, but what exactly does that mean? He holds dummies? He throws passes when no other quarterback is around? I just don’t know how a guy who has barely seen a tight end in twenty years is supposed to make three or four professional tight ends better.

Bucs D-Line Coaches Can’t Hold Jobs

January 01, 2009 at 01:29pm by Scott   •  No Comments »

The last three defensive line coaches for the Buccaneers all lost their jobs, virtually simultaneously, this week.

The least surprising and most historic of them was Rod Marinelli’s blessing-in-disguise canning from Detroit. Oh, sure, he technically got fired. But being employed by the Detroit Lions is more like a Riker’s Island sentence than a job. It’s where careers go to die, and I’m sure Brian Kelly would agree with me. If the 0-16 season was bound to happen, was there any doubt that it would be in Detroit? However, just for the record, the 1976 Buccaneers were still a worse team.

At the same time, the Houston Texans released Jethro Franklin, Marinelli’s successor in Tampa Bay. Even though Mario Williams was selected for the Pro Bowl this year, the Texans ranked 27th in the league in sacks. They were the ranked #27 in scoring defense and 22nd overall. Going from the Bucs to the Texans, it’s not hard to imagine Franklin coaching in college next.

And, finally, last year’s defensive line coach, Larry Coyer, “resigned“.

“I truly have high regard for the team and everybody there,’’ Coyer said. “I’ll miss the team. But I think it’s best that I look for other things at this time.’’

The 2008 season was Coyer’s 44th in the college and pro ranks. He came to the Bucs after he was fired as the defensive coordinator of the Denver Broncos.

Coyer spent his first year with the Bucs serving as its defensive line coach but was relieved of those duties before the 2008 season.

Yeah, that sounds like a voluntary resignation.

Current defensive line coach Todd Wash has to be feeling a little unsettled right about now. Despite the talent we’ve all seen by the players, the defensive line continues to be one of the real weaknesses of this team. I’d bet that Raheem Morris is going to bring changes to every aspect of the defense and that he’ll take 2009 to see how Wash does with the line in his version of the Tampa 2. It’s too bad Marinelli still has bitter feelings for the Bucs (or at least some of the coaches/front office) because guys like Simeon Rice, Warren Sapp and Chris Hovan all credit him with their development. The decline in team sacks went down when he left and has never recovered. He’s not going to get a head coaching job again, so some team is going to get an excellent defensive line coach. And a primo bear wrestler!

Antonio Bryant Got Screwed

December 31, 2008 at 01:49pm by Scott   •  No Comments »

Chad Pennington was named the AP Comeback Player of the Year, an award that should rightly have gone to Antonio Bryant.

The Miami Dolphins quarterback won The Associated Press 2008 NFL Comeback Player of the Year award Wednesday, the second time in three years Pennington has received the honor. He also earned it in 2006 while with the New York Jets.

Pennington is the first player in the 11 seasons of the award to win it twice.

This time, Pennington was coming back from being benched in New York during the 2007 season, then discarded this summer when the Jets acquired Brett Favre.

Oooh, he came back after being benched and cut. How challenging! His first time I can understand because rotator cuff surgery is hard to comeback from, and even harder to be successful again. But this is just a dude going to a new team. Big fucking deal. He got this award for two reasons. People felt sorry for him that he was discarded in favor of prima donna Favre, and his team had a great comeback from a shitty season. If this was a team award, Miami should definitely get it. But it’s not. It’s for one individual who was down and out and then came back the next year to have a great season.

Bryant was out of football altogether last year. This year he was the primary offensive weapon and only reliable downfield threat on a Bucs team that would have been lost without him. 83 receptions, 1,248 yards, 15 YPC, 7 touchdowns. It was his best career season, and he was out of football last year. That’s a comeback.

Pennington did well, and good for him. I wouldn’t mind seeing the Dolphins go far in the playoffs — it’s a nice story. But his is not a great individual comeback story. Sign Bryant today, please. Thank you.

TBO.com Hates Jon Gruden

December 31, 2008 at 01:05am by Scott   •  No Comments »

The erections were standing tall at the offices of the Tampa Tribune Sunday afternoon. I’m sure that guys like Joe Henderson and Roy Cummings were, at one point, Buccaneers fans. But they hate Jon Gruden more than they like the Bucs, so anything that puts Gruden in an uncomfortable spot is better than Cialis to them. And a season-dumping loss to Oakland was just the thing to get their juices flowing.

It was hard to avoid this particular article by Joe Henderson since it was posted twice simultaneously under different headings. One time it was called “Might Glazers Reconsider Gruden’s Bucs Future?” and in another part of their site, its called “Gruden’s Reputation Takes Another Hit” because, hey, you might not have gotten the point the first time. And in case you thought bias and vitriol were dead and gone in the Tampa media, I bring you paragraph one:

Wherever the Glazer family gathered Sunday night, we have to hope someone piped up somewhere between the appetizers and the main course, “You know, we might just have to fire Jon.”

“We hope”. Who is he speaking for? His co-workers? All of the Tampa Tribune? All Buccaneer fans everywhere? Because I know I’m not hoping they’re saying that. I actually hope they’ve got Gruden at that table and they’re asking him, “What the fuck?” He deserves that interrogation and the owners deserve to know. But to knee-jerk fire him a day after he, admittedly disappointingly, led them to a winning record, isn’t good for the team. Maybe it would be better to find out what went wrong first? Just an idea.

It’s the kind of mediocrity the Glazers used to justify firing Tony Dungy when his teams lost consecutive years in the playoffs at Philadelphia.

Hey, he went five paragraphs before mentioning Tony Dungy. Congratulations! But the fact is that their two situations are different. The Bucs had a limited window in 2002 to cash in on their phenomenal defense. They knew they had mortgaged their futures to win at that moment and the team was actually winning fewer and fewer games every year up through 2001. They needed an immediate injection of juice to get them over that hump and Gruden gave it to them. Now, though, there is no Super Bowl window. They are not on the cusp of anything. Are they mediocre? Absolutely. But watching the film and seeing what went wrong, it’s pretty evident that Gruden’s culpability in their late-season downfall is not exclusive. Gruden didn’t have anything to do with the defensive collapse in December. He didn’t miss tackles or pull hamstrings. I’m also quite sure he didn’t encourage Jeff Garcia to break the pocket with mindless scrambling half a second after the snap. As the head coach, of course he has ultimate responsibility to correct those things. And with a new defensive coordinator and a (please please please) new quarterback in 2009, hopefully he will.

It’s easy to scream to the rooftop that Gruden must go…

And that’s exactly what he’s doing in his first paragraph.

…but this isn’t something anyone would do on a whim. Gruden has been alternately brilliant and baffling during his time here, and ultimately a coach is only as good as his players. That’s why General Manager Bruce Allen shouldn’t get a pass, either.

Did he initially get you thinking that he was going to ease up on Gruden? Silly you. It was just a ruse to disguise his agenda for firing Allen as well. But he’s not tricking me. The Tampa media dislikes Allen because he never gives them straight answers and always has that shit-eating grin on his face. But he’s provided this team with good talent and saved the salary cap at the same time. His draft picks have been solid for the most part. And he’s gotten good play and good behavior from once-problem players like Antonio Bryant and Jerramy Stevens — for the veteran minimum. I can at least entertain the argument against Gruden. And if 2009 turns out to be as disappointing as 2008 was, I’ll probably join the mob that is demanding his head. But you can’t fault Allen in this. Henderson just plain doesn’t like him.

You’re in for plenty of Buccaneer negativity in the Tampa sports media this offseason. There are still some good ones out there. Anwar Richardson is at the top of the list and Stephen Holder is close behind. And everyone at Pewter Report is pretty good about staying objective. Look to those guys if you’re wanting to develop your own opinions about the Bucs based on unbiased information.

Oh, and check here this offseason if you’re looking for swear-riddled opinions about the Bucs occasionally interrupted by tits.

Brooks Wants To Play In 2009

December 30, 2008 at 01:46am by Scott   •  3 Comments »

Derrick Brooks announced today that he intends on playing out his contract in Tampa that is set to expire at the end of the 2009 season.

“I plan on being back unless you know something I don’t.”

So, of course, he’ll play. Brooks is the Brett Favre of Tampa Bay, and as long as he wants to play, there’s going to be a spot on the team for him. The only way I see him not playing next year is if Raheem Morris somehow convinces him to hang them up in the early offseason. But even then, we’d never know about it. He’d just have a press conference and say that he doesn’t think his body can hold up to the pounding of another NFL season and he’s going to retire. God, I hope that happens.

I called for his retirement after the 2006 season because he looked slow and old. Then in 2007, he had a great year and made all of us who thought he was out of gas look like chumps. This year, he started off strong and then faded down the stretch. You can say it was because of injuries or because he’s getting old. Whatever. Chances are he got injured because he’s old and his body can’t bounce back like it used to. If the Tampa 2 is going to continue under Morris, they need a weakside linebacker who can run from sideline to sideline without popping a hammy or getting gassed. I don’t know if the right guy is Cato June or Adam Hayward or someone else that isn’t already on the team. But at one time not too long ago, Brooks was the best WLB in professional football hands down. He’s not anymore, and the Bucs need to find the guy who is because that position is too important in their defensive scheme to leave to a guy who can’t keep up.

But the Bucs will never cut him. Especially not after this season. They don’t have the capital with the fans to make such a move. He has to leave voluntarily, and if he decides he’s staying, we’d all better get ready to watch the defense suffer for it. The team could hide some of his inadequacies by getting consistent pressure on the quarterback, but that’s a complaint for a different time.

The Best Defensive Move In Tampa Yesterday

December 30, 2008 at 01:18am by Scott   •  1 Comment »

From a Raiders fan who attended the Oakland/Tampa Bay game at Raymond James yesterday:

The game went without incident up until the first score of the game by the Raiders. I stood in celebration, and before the extra point was even kicked, I was being led away by stadium personnel. Once out of the stands, I was placed in handcuffs, although I was not resisting the stadium personnel’s requests, or read my rights and placed under arrest. I was lead to a single person holding cell where my possessions were removed, and I was subjected to a full body frisking. After being detained for roughly 30 minutes, I was released outside of the stadium, and informed that I could not return to the stadium.

And then he stabbed twelve Bucs fans on the way to his car.

I’m just glad the Text to Tattle system in the stadium is finally paying off. It’s a pretty safe bet that if you see a Raiders fan in your home stadium, a crime is about to be committed. I’m actually pissed they released him into the wild of Tampa. You watch, in ten years this guy will be shouting “Go Raiders!” from his execution chamber for something he did in Tampa. Like this guy. Fuck you, Oakland.

Fun With Technicalities

December 29, 2008 at 04:09pm by Scott   •  3 Comments »

Jon Gruden was asked today if Jeff Garcia would be back with the Bucs in 2009. Now, normally, one couldn’t be expected to predict what next year’s roster is going to look like a day after the biggest choke job in franchise history etched the epitaph on a once-promising seasoning. But that doesn’t stop anyone from asking. And as usual, Gruden was prepared with his non-answer answer.

“Jeff will have an opportunity to come back, I’m sure. He’ll be a free agent, and we’ll see who’s available. We want to get better at every position we can.”

“Will have an opportunity to come back” sounds a lot like “Will be offered the lowest possible contract the union will allow.” At least that’s what I hope he means. Garcia did just enough to give us all hope and then leave us at the alter of the playoffs. And it wasn’t so much what he did as what he didn’t do. Everyone just loves watching him scramble around because they think he’s doing something great. But what he’s really doing a lot of the time is running into sacks and missing the open guy. It only looked nice at the time because Brian Griese has the mobility of Jabba the Hutt. There’s a comfortable middle ground there that some young quarterback can fill. If Garcia is brought back, it should be in the same role Griese played this year: emergency quarterback. And I think Garcia would prefer to retire than be the backup to the guy holding the clipboard.

“We’ll do everything we can to keep him and see who’s available to come in and help us.”

That’s nice. No need upsetting Garcia while he’s still in the same building. But “everything we can” generally translates to “everything we feel like” which, in this case, is the right answer.

Quarterback Luke McCown also will be a free agent. Asked whether McCown would have a chance to compete for the starting spot should he return to the Bucs, Gruden said, “Yes.”

These aren’t answers, people! Everyone who happens to be on the roster will be given a chance to compete for the starter’s job. The better question would have been what effort the Bucs will put forth to keep McCown. And it should be a lot. McCown should be re-signed and given a fair chance to be the starter. There’s no way of knowing what his true potential is until he gets a full season of live action behind him. Based on his performance in training camp, I happen to think he has a high ceiling.

Whatever he’s thinking, though, he’s not going to say and we’re not really going to know about it until it happens.